Well, I feel that by writing this on a blog where everyone can see it, I'm making a big jump. So far, I've only mentioned this to my parents, my sister, and one of my closest friends... now I'm about to write it out for the world to see. It's also unique in that I haven't been in a situation like this for many years... in fact, something like this hasn't happened to me since high school (partly by choice, partly because of God's will). It's also unique in that this is a very personal post, unlike the others here which have been biographical or spiritual in nature. Well, not that this one isn't biographical or spiritual, but the focus is much more personal than my previous posts have been.
Anyways, the news is this... there's a certain young female who's been my friend for several months. In fact, we've been friends since we both moved here last August. Over the course of the last year, we've gradually moved from being acquaintances (September) to being friends (October) to being good friends (March) to, well, something more than just friends (July 3). I'm not exactly sure what that "something more" is, but we'll find out soon enough. To set the stage a little more, I probably should mention that on June 9 (the next-to-last day of school), I had a little talk with her about our friendship since we had been in several awkward moments just before that and since we had never clarified that we were "just friends" or anything. Well, we walked away from that conversation pretty much on the same page that we walked into that conversation on - we both came and left as "friends." I sort of just put the whole thing in the back of my mind and was just going to let it go for the time being. I mean, look at what was coming in the future: the school year was about to be over (she's a teacher like I am) and we wouldn't be hanging around during lunch time or after school... while we were both working here at summer camp our hours were completely different (6 AM - 12 PM and 12 PM - 6 PM)... we had been living in the same apartment building (church-owned) but she was moving out soon to another apartment in the area... she was going on a 2-week vacation in the summer... and next year was promising to be a very busy year for both of us (e.g., no time for a social life) not to mention the fact that we would be working in completely different buildings in the school (unlike this year). So I was just going to not worry about it anymore. Case closed, and her going on vacation last week and this week would be a good time to start making that break. Or so I thought...
Last Sunday afternoon (3:57 PM to be exact), I get a phone call from her. I saw her name on my caller ID, and I was like "oh, okay. that's cool..." We said hi, and then she asks a question that would inspire both fear and hope in every man: "Do you remember how we had that talk a little while ago?" Um, yeah... How could I forget? What is this - a call to say that you want to be "only friends" for a while more? I mean, that's basically the assumption that I've operated on for the last month. Anyway... "Do you still feel the same way?" Um, well... (I began tripping all over my words) Well, yeah, I kind of do, but so I would know exactly how to put it, I asked her why... "Well, I've been thinking about it, and maybe being away from it all on vacation helped me think it through better, but I wouldn't mind spending more time getting to know you." Wow! I was on the proverbial Cloud Nine almost instantly! :) I'm not sure that I can recall most of the rest of the conversation, but that one sentence was enough for me. I know I suggested waiting until she got back here before we got into any serious talks, but the rest of it is just a blur in my memory. I could say much more, but let me move on...
As I said, she's been on vacation this week, so we really haven't talked at all since that phone call on Sunday. We have emailed quite a bit though for us (1 or 2 per day) and even started to set up our first date for when she gets back. Except for that phone call, I'd be seriously wondering if this was all just a dream or a bad joke. I mean, seriously, when was the last time that I invited a girl somewhere (just the two of us) and that girl wanted it to be just the two of us too but wasn't sure that I meant it that way and asked me to clarify? This has to be just a dream... or is it? :)
Well, I'll find out soon enough. She flies in late Friday night, Lord willing. She's flying out from Pensecola, Florida, so she might get caught in some hurricane weather, but I'm hoping not. I can't wait to see her now... this week has been pretty awesome, but 5-6 days is a long time when you're eagerly waiting to see a girl who might just become your girlfriend once you sit down and have that first serious talk. (You know, I hope she doesn't mind my calling her that before we've actually talked about us being a couple, but I'm pretty certain she won't mind.) :) Still, the amazing thing to me is that she was actually thinking about it so much that she had to call me on Sunday instead of waiting until she gets back to talk to me! Okay, so maybe this isn't that much to some of you who are reading my blog, but that doesn't usually happen to me. As I said above, that hasn't happened to me since high school - partly because I chose it and partly because God designed it that way.
As I sit here and type all of this though, I know that all of this happiness I now feel may be only temporary. I'm very aware of the fact that God's will for us may be that we stay as friends. It may be for us to be "something more" but it doesn't have be that. I can't see into the future any more than she can (or you, for that matter). There are many things that we need to talk about now, things which as friends I might be willing to overlook or not take seriously but that as "more than friends" I do need to seriously consider. We need to talk about standards, about the Lord's leading for future ministry, about... you name it. For my fellow believers, please pray for us that we both seek God's will during this time. We've both been praying about it for the last month, and now I'm asking for you to join us in that prayer. It's not only a great privilege and opportunity that I have before me but a great responsibility as well, and I know that I can't possibly succeed without guidance from my omniscient God. He alone is deserving of any glory...
Oh, and in case you're wondering... her name is Kim. :)